23 4 / 2014
1. Don’t think that being published will make you happy. It will for four weeks, if you are lucky. Then it’s the same old fucking shit.
2. Hemingway was fucking wrong. You shouldn’t write drunk. (See my third novel for details.)
3. Hemingway was also right. ‘The first draft of everything is shit.’
4. Never ask a publisher or agent what they are looking for. The best ones, if they are honest, don’t have a fucking clue, because the best books are the ones that seemingly come from nowhere.
5. In five years time the semi-colon is going to be nothing more than a fucking wink.
6. In five years time every fucking person on Twitter will be a writer.
7. Ignore the fucking snobs. Write that space zombie sex opera. Just give it some fucking soul.
8. If it’s not worth fucking reading, it’s not worth fucking writing. If it doesn’t make people laugh or cry or blow their fucking minds then why bother?
9. Don’t be the next Stephen King or the next Zadie Smith or the next Neil Gaiman or the next Jonathan Safran fucking Foer. Be the next fucking you.
10. Stories are fucking easy. PLOT OF EVERY BOOK EVER: Someone is looking for something. COMMERCIAL VERSION: They find it. LITERARY VERSION: They don’t find it. (That’s fucking it.)
11. No-one knows anything. Especially fucking me. Except:
12. Don’t kill off the fucking dog.
13. Oh, yeah, and lastly: write whatever you fucking want."
22 4 / 2014
"Ben Affleck postponed directing a film in order to work with David Fincher. “He’s the only director I’ve met who can do everybody else’s job better than they could,” states Affleck. On set one day, Affleck changed the lens setting on a camera an almost indiscernible amount, betting a crew member that Fincher wouldn’t notice. “But goddammit if he didn’t say, ‘Why does the camera look a little dim?’”"
21 4 / 2014
Films in 2014
Director: Bong Joon Ho
Cast: Chris Evans, Jamie Bell, John Hurt, Octavia Spencer, Tilda Swinton
Set in the near future this is a dark piece thought provoking piece of work that delves into the idea of global warming, revolution and class. Bong Joon Ho uses the theatre of film to beautifully portray a class system by make it devoid of almost all colour. Watch for the woman in yellow, it’s a striking moment. Trapped on a rattling train the world seems large and intriguing and that’s all down to the team in front and behind the camera.All the leads give stand out performances and it’s nice to see Evans breaking away from his Captain America role.
20 4 / 2014
"Give me books, French wine, fruit, fine weather and a little music played out of doors, played by somebody I do not know."
18 4 / 2014
"Be miserable. Or motivate yourself. Whatever has to be done, it’s always your choice."